In the midst of our joy for our baby daughter we have been met with the news of so many of our friends loosing their loved one. Within this past week we've received news of our friend's mom passing away and today came the latest news.
I should know what to say, do or not say or not do - after all, I'm a pastor and I've lost both my parents. But I don't. The next is written by Rabbi Earl A. Grollman and I guess that is why.
The only thing I do know is that God will heal. It is His nature to heal. He cannot not heal because He is love and the nature of love is healing. The tough part is that the road to healing is hidden in grieving and there isn't anything harder in life than grieving. There just isn't. How we survive it I just don't know, but I know that we do. We do.
BUT IT HURTS ... DIFFERENTLY
There is no way to predict
how you will feel.
The reactions of grief
are not like recipes,
with given ingredients,
and certain results.
Each person mourns in a different way.
You may cry hysterically,
or
you may remain outwardly controlled,
showing little emotion.
You may lash out in anger
against your family and friends,
or
you may express your gratitude
for their concern and dedication.
You may be calm one moment
in turmoil the next.
Reactions are varied and contradictory.
Grief is universal.
At the same time it is extremely personal.
Heal in your own way.
Rabbi Earl A. Grollman.
1 comment:
Excuse the minor rant Mia :)
"I should know what to say, do or not say or not do - after all, I'm a pastor and I've lost both my parents. "
actually it's a real relief that you don't know what to say or do. IMHO the absolute best -the only authentic- thing a friend -and a pastor - can do, is sit and cry with us, hold a hand, and feel the pain.
Words are superfluous.
When my god-daughter - poor little mite - died, I wanted to punch everyone in the nose who offered trite condolances. When you are in pain hearing that s/he is with her heavenly father just now does NOT help. Nor does the fact that the Father's house has many rooms. Who cares? At that point everything that is in you is screaming s/he should still be here with his/her earthly father and mother (etc)
We grieve a death not because we dont' believe in an afterlife, but in spite of it. We cry because we want our dear ones and dear ones here and now with us, healthy and well, and we grieve that we are left alone - and it's ok -very ok -to do that. Ecc 3
/ friends are in that place of letting go of someone they love. And of course you (and the rabbi) ARE right - God comforts whereas we may not be able to. Thank you for voicing that :)
Let God wipe away all the tears - but thank goodness He allows them too. Emotions are good and one of the most encouraging verses in the bible (for me) is that Jesus wept. Wish it was recorded that he burst out laughing on a different occasion -or skipped with joy - but that's just me :)
hug xx
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