It was Father's Day Sunday. Lotta and I baked a cake for her daddy already on Friday and then made the filling (lemmon curd) and frosting (white sugar) on Saturday. Then we decorated it together and as it was finished we couldn't wait all the way to Sunday so we asked daddy if he'd like a piece already. Husband knows his impatient girls and said yes. AND he liked the cake very much :). It wasn't pretty it has to be admitted but that was because I didn't know how to make a proper frosting. Lotta's decorations were, of course, wonderful.
Sunday morning he got breakfast in bed - without accidents! - and Lotta had drawn him a card. All day Sunday she kept saying it was isipäivä i.e. daddyday and she was so into daddyday that she wanted yesterday to be daddyday, too. She also learnt a new word for isi which is isukki and yesterday as we went to get Husband from work she kept repeating that we were going to get isukki. I thought it was adorable :).
My dad died at the age of 49, three days before my 23rd birthday. He'd had a heart attack and because of that he'd been to a bypass surgery which he didn't survive. It seemed at first that he would but after seven days in the ICU he died.
I loved him very much but he was not the easiest person to live with. And what saddens me is that I feel that I really never got to know him. Not properly. He was my dad and he loved me but he didn't really know how to talk to me. When he'd come and pick me up to go to my parents' house - we lived in the same town - I'd be the one doing the talking. I was fine with that since that was already a huge change from my teens but I keep thinking that had we had more time then maybe he would have learnt to talk to me, too.
It wasn't that he didn't talk at all. I remember waking up in the night and hearing talk from the living room. When I would go see what was happening I'd find my mom and dad just sitting and talking to each other. He'd call from work to tell mom a silly story or something he'd just thought of. The two of them really seemed to enjoy talking to each other and that is a memory I treasure. You could tell that they loved each other. And that your parents love each other is a blessing to every child. For that I am very thankful. And for my dad, too. Difficult as it was at times for us, he was my daddy and I loved him. And I wish he could have met my Husband and become a granddad.
When I talk about him to Lotta he is now Paavo-pappa. So, in a way, he HAS become a grandfather.
1 comment:
This is a very nice post! It sounds like your Dad was a man who didn't open up very much except to his wife - a strong, silent Finn! I am glad that you are able to love his memory for both his faults and his virtues.
I sometimes regret that living so far away from my parents means I don't spend very much time with them at all. But we will see them this Christmas :)
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