Apparently, despite what I think, baby didn't think that Annunciation day was a cool day to be born. We, well she, had a busy day Saturday with lots of contractions and tummy gymnastics in between but the only thing that seems to have happened is that she is now in a different position. I guess she finally figured out that being upside down but sideways is not going to really work and now it seems that she's turned her back toward the world. It doesn't stop her from kicking all over the place but her bum doesn't zigzag accross my belly as much anymore. She's getting big there's no doubt about it. But guess if she's dropped. No.
If she absolutely has to be born on a Christian holy day then I'm now putting my hope on Palm Sunday but I'm starting to think that she really is not going to come anytime soon. We'll know a bit better after tomorrow since we go to Tyks again for a check up. I'm not holding my breath, though.
The thing is, on Saturday with the false contractions that were in fact already somewhat painful I didn't know what to think. A big part of me wants to finally go have the baby but then another part of me seems to be everything but ready and very scared. Judging by the false contractions and the pain they manage to cause labor is not going to be much fun since those are, I'm told, nothing. Can't really say that I look forward to excruciating pain.
The bigger issue, though, is that I'm kind of scared of - and I know its nuts - the baby herself. This little iddy bitty person, this completely new person that I've lived with for almost 10 months is unlike no one else in the world and it scares me. What if I don't understand what she needs? What if she doesn't - this is where it gets even nuttier - like me?
Husband is not in the least bit worried, bless him, but I am. I admit it freely that even I think that my concern is somewhat nuts. I mean I know I will love this baby no matter what - in fact I already do - and that counts for quite a bit, right? But I don't know her yet and that makes her a bit scary. I just so want her to love me back - and to like me.
5 comments:
You are not alone in being scared! And you'll see when she calms down when hearing your heartbeat or voice or just being in your safe arms that she can't help but loving you.
Thanks again for the visit and the comments. We are so looking forward to meeting your little one!
Oh,she WILL love you. You're her Mom, mom is the best thing in the world... :)
And, the pain, it is amazing how soon you completely forget it. If you can, please, do not think about it yet. "Mennä täysillä mukaan kipuun" (go with the pain) said a beautician who gave me a pedicure just a few weeks before our big day. I tried it and realized that it is better to go with it than to fight back.
From a Mom of an Epiphany girl. (ours chose her day well!)
Thank yo both for you comments they really are a blessing!
she'll love you and like you - though that might change a bit when she's a teenager if my DD is anything to go by. In her eyes I'm definitely the most un-cool mother in the world! hahahaha
but the love is there, regardless
Every time I see you, Mia, you're patting 'the bulge'! ;) I can't help but think you're going to turn out to be one heck of a mother...
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